FOOD POLITICS

I ALWAYS KILLED IT...

    I WAS NEVER ALWAYS A GREAT EATER WHEN I WAS QUITE LITTLE...I WAS SKINNY AND FRAGILE. I LOVED SWEETS AND CHOCOLATES BUT REAL FOOD WAS NEVER MY PASSION.

BEING FROM A NIGERIAN HOME, GARRI (EBA) WAS ALWAYS A CONSTANT FEATURE IN OUR MEALS AT HOME..,. AND I SOOO HATED IT, THE THOUGHT OF SWALLOWING WAS A BIG ISSUE FOR ME YUCKKK!!!! SOMETIMES I WOULD SQUEEZE MY FACE TIGHT JUST TO TAKE A SWALLOW...I TRIED AND TRIED AND TRIED UNTIL I DECIDED "THAT'S IT , NO MORE EBA SWALLOWING"  AND TILL TODAY I DON'T EAT EBA. NOTE THAT THIS APPLIES TO ALL FORMS OF SWALLOWING AGENTS E.G SEMOVITA AND 'LINA,POUNDED YAM, POUNDED RICE ETC

MY MUM TRIED TO SET UP A FOOD ROSTER THAT WE WOULD STRICTLY ADHERE TO BUT IT NEVER DID WORK BECAUSE WE HAD ONE FOOD OR THE OTHER WE DIDNT LIKE...I WOULD NEVER EAT EBA AND MY OTHER BROTHERS MIGHT NOT LIKE A CERTAIN FOOD,SO THE FOOD ROSTER WAS NEVER FOLLOWED.

SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON GETTING ME TO EAT IT..SHE WOULD SIT ME DOWN AND START A CHAT ABOUT HOW EBA MADE A GIRL BIG AND STRONG. SINCE THAT DIDN'T WORK, SHE INTENSIFIED....WHENEVER THERE WAS AN OUTING OR VISITATION OF SOME SORTS, SHE WOULD SAY, IT WAS EITHER I ATE EBA OR AM NOT GOING TO FOLLOW HER....ARRRGGGHH!!!  BUT IT STILL DIDNT WORK, I JUST WOULDNT EAT IT..LOLZZZ

GOOD THING IS THAT THERE WAS ALWAYS AN ALTERNATIVE FOR ME. THE GOOD "OL SPAGHETTI OR RICE, BREAD AND TEA, BISCUIT FLAKES (CABIN BISCUIT, MILK AND SUGAR MIXED WITH WATER) OR GO TO BED WITHOUT FOOD....(MOSTLY THE CASE THOUGH)

BUT ALAS WHILE IN SECONDARY SCHOOL I FORMED A BOND WITH AMALA....IT SEEMED REALLY EASY TO SWALLOW WITH THE EWEDU....WE HAD AN AMALA JOINT (POPULARLY KNOWN AS "A.J")

PREPARING A LOVELY POT OF SOUP THOUGH WAS NEVER AN ISSUE FOR ME AS I COULD DO SO WITHOUT DIFFICULTY. AFTERALL THIS IS AFRICA..HEHEHEHE...YOU MUST LEARN IT.

MOST PEOPLE STILL CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW I WOULD STAY MONTHS WITHOUT A TASTE OF EBA AND SOUP. THEY ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS FORMING AS MOST NAIJA GIRLS DO.

AS MUCH AS THEY RANT ABOUT IT,GIVE ME WEIRD LOOKS AND ALL,I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT SOME FOODS ARE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE EATEN....

MY CHICKEN EXPERIENCE

I CANT REALLY FATHOM WHY THIS HAPPENED BUT IT DID HAPPEN.ITS REALLY WEIRD AND MOST PEOPLE FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE.

YES I HAVE A PHOBIA FOR CHICKENS!!!

BEFORE YOU ACT ALL SHOCKED AND SQUEEZE YOUR FACE LIKE THAT...YES DAT...JUST KNOW THAT ITS VERY POSSIBLE...

THERES EVEN A NAME FOR THAT KINDA PHOBIA AND ITS CALLED ALEKTOROPHOBIA.

ITS THE FEAR OF CHICKENS.

THE ORIGIN OF THE WORD ALEKTORO IS GREEK (MEANING ROOSTER) AND PHOBIA IS GREEK (MEANING FEAR) ITS A SPECIFIC KIND OF PHOBIA.

IT ALL STARTED WHEN I WAS 11 AND I WENT TO MY VILLAGE WITH MY PARENTS.I WAS SOOOO EXCITED BECAUSE I GET TO GO TO THE STREAM TO FETCH WATER (NO BOREHOLE THEN),JUMP AND PLAY ALOT WITH THE VILLAGE KIDS WHO ALWAYS TREATED ME AS SPECIAL BECAUSE I WAS FROM THE CITY....HEHEHEE....I SPOKE ONLY ENGLISH INSTEAD OF THE LOCAL DIALECT AND THEY COULDN'T SPEAK IT.

    

 AND SOO ONE FATEFUL DAY I WENT PLAYING WITH THE KIDS.I CUT A WHITE SHEET OF PAPER WITH WHICH  I WANTED TO USE IN MAKING A "PAPER AEROPLANE"...AND JUST CLOSE BY WAS A MOTHER HEN WITH ITS WHITE CHICKS. ALL OF A SUDDEN,THE MOTHER HEN CHASED ME AND FLEW ON MY HEAD,AS I WAS STRUGGLING TO PUSH IT AWAY, I FELL DOWN AND INJURED MYSELF...I GOT UP AND IT STILL CHASED ME. WHEEWWWWW, I FINALLY TOOK COVER INSIDE THE NEIGHBORS HOUSE.

I CRIED MY LITTLE PRETTY EYES OUT WONDERING WHAT WENT WRONG AND HOW DID IT HAPPEN?....MY SO CALLED VILLAGE PLAYMATES LAUGHED AT ME SO HARD AND KEPT YABBING ME IN THE LOCAL DIALECT (NOW I WISHED I KNEW HOW TO SPEAK IT) 

WELL DAYS LATER I GOT TO UNDERSTAND THROUGH MY MUM THE REASON FOR THE ATTACK.. PLEASE FOLLOW THROUGH ONCE AGAIN......

 

I WAS WALKING PAST A HEN WITH ITS WHITE CHICKS AND I WAS HOLDING A WHITE SHEET OF PAPER.....TAKE NOTE OF THE COLOR WHITE APPARENTLY THE MOTHER HEN THOUGHT THE WHITE PAPER ON MY HAND WAS ITS WHITE CHICK..AND I WAS WALKING MAJESTICLLY??? HELL NOOO...E NO WAN GREE O....LOLS..

AND SO THAT WAS HOW THAT EXPERIENCE CHANGED MY LIFE...TILL TODAY I RUN FROM THEM..LIKE REALLY RUN...AM SURE MY FRIENDS CAN TESTIFY TO THAT.THEY HAVE EVEN PROMISED TO GIVE ME CHICKENS AS A WEDDING GIFT,OFCOZ WELL PACKAGED WITHOUT ME KNOWING.*frowns* AND I HAVE DECIDED TO HAVE A FEATHER DETECTOR AT THE ENTRANCE,ALL WEDDING GIFTS SHALL BE SCREENED.HAHAHAHAA...*TONGUES OUT*

BUT REGARDLESS OF THAT, OOH HOW I LOVE TO EAT CHICKEN...FRIED,STEAMED,PEPPERED,CRUSTED,BBQed AND EVEN SMOKED,INFACT, IN ANY FORM,. LOVE THEM ALL...I EAT IT MORE AS A FORM OF PAY BACK...AMMA EAT THEM ALL FOR SCARING ME WHEN I WAS LITTLE...ITS PAY BACK TIME BABY...(DID I HEAR YOU SAY TO WHOSE DETRIMENT???) LOLZZZZZZ

MY TASTEE YUMMY CHICKEN!!!!!!!

THE HIDDEN BEAUTY

Most times wethink of Lagos as the  DIRTIEST CITY IN THE WORLD.Especially when you visit the  OSHODI's And The MUSHIN's (NO DISRESPECT PLS)...

THE TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM IS OOH MY ARRRGGGGH...One cannot talk about Lagos, without a critical look at the 1947 Volkswagen Van- the golden-yellow Danfo or the popular Molue. Danfo and Molue are interesting part of ‘Lagos-experience’. Danfo are in most cases not roadworthy and rickety; while those that go to Ijora, Orile and Ajegunle Routes, are what Papa Ajasco called jalopy. Molue are simply rattletrap, however, with N20 (TWENTY NAIRA) Molue can take you a far as from Ikeja to Oshodi or from Apapa to CMS up to Obalande. Not having experienced a ride on a Molue or a Danfo, one has not got the Lagos experience! All passengers have to pay before a Molue or a Danfo begins its journey; if it breakdown on the way, you are on your own. The moment, Molue or Danfo begins its journey- more than half of the passengers will start shouting- ‘coonnduucctooor’ give me my change; Lagos conductors are experts in cheating commuters.
One interesting thing is- you hardly see a Molue or a Danfo without an interesting inscription in it- from ‘ALL ON ME’ to ‘GOD IS IN CONTROL’. To commute from one place to another by Lagos BRT buses is enjoyable; however, the buses where competing with Okada on the  BRT lanes- untill the ban by BRF (hmmm ALMOST SAME INITIALS WITH THE BUS)
Lagos can be likened to a beauty Queen, dressed in a glittery-white-satin, standing beside a street, smiling and waving to passersby, but when she speaks, her mouth smells, she has body odor, she is arrogant and materialistic....Besides the fact that it a shadow of our slogan "CENTRE OF EXCELLENCE.......we soooo love it....Lagos has its hidden beauty...

THE NAIJA YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN

I AM ALWAYS IN A GOOD MOOD TO PROMOTE THE IMAGE OF NIGERIA ANYDAY ANYTIME..(AM I?)
WE KNOW THERE ARE ALOT OF ISSSUES IN THE COUNTRY AT THE MOMENT BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN WE ARENT DOING WELL IN OTHER AREAS LIKE ENTERTAINMENT.
WE ARE OFTEN REFERED TO AS THE 'SUFFERING AND SMILING" CITIZENS...
SO REGARDLESS OF THE POLITIAL INSTABILITY,ECONOMIC AND WHAT HAVE YOU, WE STILL KNOW HOW TO SPEND THAT CASH FOR THE OPPPORTUNITY TO LAUGH OUR ASSES OUT IN THE DANCE,SONGS OR COMEDY SHOWS-NO MATTER THE COST.
SO I SAY NAIJA IS DOING WELL IN ENTERTAINMENT. 
HEY!!!!!! BEFORE YOU BEGIN TO COMPARE US TO THE AMERICANS OR SOMEOTHER WESTERN COUNTRY...HOLD THE THOUGHT...FOR ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY,IF IT WAS AM SURE WE WOULD HAVE USED THE SAME CONTRACTORS.......innit
SO ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LET YOUR HAIR DOWN EVERY NOW AND THEN...BREATHE AND RELAX...LAUGH AND PLAY.....THEN YOU'LL SEE NAIJA IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT.